The enemy thought she’d never rise again, get married, or hold her head up again after she was gang-raped on her wedding day. Many felt sorry for her, while others had no words when they saw her face and story in a major publication.
Terry Gobanga had been broken in every way.
She faced fear, shame, rejection, and pain, and the weight of it all led her into depression. At one point, she almost began to believe that was all her life would ever be.
What she did not know was that God was behind the scenes, making sure that the good, the bad, and the ugly would all turn out for her good.
He would put every broken and shattered piece of her together, visit her at her point of shame, and ultimately fulfil the words in Isaiah 61:3.
“And provide for those who grieve in Zion – to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.”
I first heard Terry at the Queens meeting in Dallas, where she was the main speaker. She shared her testimony, and it did something to me.
This past August, I had the honor of having Terry speak as a featured author and storyteller- and wow, it was truly one for the books.
From the moment she steps on the stage, she commands the room effortlessly.
She is an atmosphere changer, a worshipper, and with all this, you can feel her humility. Did I also mention that she’s such a vibe and a great storyteller? She literally had me sitting on the edge of my chair.
The main highlight of this testimony is that God is in this story and that he is the ultimate story changer.
Today, Terry is a pastor, speaker, coach, and mentor to many, sharing her story of grace and transformation. If you have felt broken or hopeless, her testimony will give you hope to believe again.
But before the Terry we see today, the pastor, the speaker, and world-changer, there was a day that tried to destroy her.
Let’s take it back.
It was going to be a great wedding, with many guests planning to attend. After all, she was a pastor and was set to be married at All Saints Cathedral in Nairobi.
On the morning of her wedding day, Terry needed to drop some things off to Harry Olwande, her soon-to-be husband.
As she was making her way back, she saw a guy sitting on the trunk of the car. He suddenly grabbed her from behind and dumped her in the back of the seat. There were two other men inside, and they drove off as fast as they could.
They stuffed cloth in her mouth to stop her from screaming. With a struggle, she removed it and screamed, ‘It is my wedding day.’ The blows came. One warned that if she didn’t cooperate, she would die.
The men took turns raping her. She thought she’d die.
They finally threw Terry out, and luckily, a child saw her and called her grandmother for help.
Healing Journey
Word got around quickly, and people came running when news spread. Police tried to find a pulse but could not, and everyone feared she was dead.
Terry describes how they wrapped her in a blanket and were headed to the morgue, but on the way, she coughed and startled everyone.
She was alive!
They immediately changed course and rushed her to a government hospital in Kenya.
She arrived in the hospital covered in blood and with an altered mental status. The matron couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something different about Terry until it struck her; she looked like a bride.
Soon after, word spread and volunteers began visiting nearby churches to check if a bride had gone missing. Luckily, the first church the volunteers contacted was All Saints Cathedral, and yes indeed, they were missing a bride.
By this time, there was a lot of worry among the attendees about what had happened to the bride. When news spread that Terry had been taken to the hospital and details of the incident began to surface, the story quickly spread online after one media station picked it up.
She was moved to a different hospital for privacy reasons, and this was the beginning of more bad news.
Shortly after a comprehensive assessment by doctors, they would give her devastating news that some of the injuries she had sustained were so bad that she wouldn’t be able to carry children.
Despite her agony over many days and months, her family and fiancé remained very supportive. He never wavered in his commitment; when she improved, Harry still looked forward to marrying Terry.
A few months after the initial wedding, Terry’s medical tests came back negative, and plans for a new wedding began. Some people, having seen her story in the paper, offered to pay for the ceremony.
In July 2005, several months after her first planned wedding, Terry married Harry.
Unfortunately, her marriage to Harry was short-lived. Just 29 days after they married in July 2005, he passed away due to inhaling carbon monoxide from burning charcoal.
People began to talk, saying Terry was cursed—first the rape, then the loss of her husband in under a month of marriage.
In a moment of vulnerability, she nearly believed she was cursed.
Her battles multiplied, with many accusing her of killing her husband. Until the autopsy results came out, blame fell on her, pushing her to a breaking point where she felt abandoned by God.
A New Dawn of Beauty
All along, God was behind the scenes, orchestrating every move.
One morning, while chilling on the balcony, she would question God, asking, “You mean you can take care of the birds and not me?”
She was in a state of depression and would sit in her room with the curtains closed.
She told everyone she would never marry again. After all, she had gone through a lot of loss and shame in the public eye.
But you know what they say, “Never Say Never.”
There was this brother, Tonny Gobanga, who kept visiting her and would talk and encourage her. He gave her a safe space, and she would reminisce with him about the good ol times she had with her late husband.
Guess what, Terry was falling for him. One day, he did not call, and she felt some type of way. Can all my sisters in the back say Amen?
Tonny had also fallen deeply for her. Though Terry hesitated and urged him to read her story and remember the doctor’s report, he assured her that children are a gift from God and that wouldn’t stop him. They married in 2007.
Terry and her husband, Tonny Gobanga.
A year after marrying Tonny, Terry began feeling unwell. She visited the doctor and was surprised to learn she was pregnant. Her first baby, Tehille, was born, and four years later, she had another baby girl, Towday.
God went on to restore her relationship with her father-in-law, who had thought his son had made a mistake by marrying Terry; now they are the best of friends.
Terry Gobanga is the author of Crawling out of Darkness, which recounts her ordeal to give people hope of rising again.
She also founded Kara Olmurani, a nonprofit for rape survivors. The organization offers counseling, support, and mentorship, and refers to its clients as survivors rather than victims.
Terry has since forgiven her attackers and now provides a safe space to help others who have faced similar traumas heal and live a life of impact.
You can listen to Terry Gobanga’s story on The Outlook Podcast by the BBC World Service.
Bio
Terry is a wife and a mother of two. She is an alumnus of East Africa University, where she graduated in Bible and Theology and is currently pursuing studies in Policy making, Human Services, and Child Psychology.
She is the Founder and President of Kara Olmurani, an international organization that shelters sexually abused girls, 14 years and below, who need a safe environment and intense therapy after defilement. Her passion to see sexual victims given a safe space to heal and be allowed to dream again has been shared with many media outlets internationally and locally, including the BBC and the New York Times, in the hope of advocating for better policies surrounding sexual violence cases and ultimately encouraging many survivors.
She serves on the board of LINVEC PLC and is the current President of Texas Umoja Organization.
She has received several awards, including an honorary doctorate of divinity from St. Thomas Christian University in November 2021. This award recognizes her trailblazing work as a child protector of sexually abused survivors. She has developed programs and systems that create a safe space by rebuilding and restoring the dignity of these warriors on their way to reintegration.
Terry Gobanga is also the author of Crawling out of Darkness, which recounts her ordeal and how she found the strength to rise again.
See also: From Sofia Village to the World: Catherine Syokau’s Story
