When Valentine Kariuki’s mother was diagnosed with colon cancer four years ago, she found herself facing the ultimate test of faith. Like many who walk the painful road of watching a parent battle cancer, Valentine, a worship minister, had to choose whether to fix her eyes on the dreadful medical reports or her faith in God.
“Cancer is painful. Cancer is like a monster. That’s how people say it,” Valentine shares, her voice carrying the weight of someone who has witnessed its devastation firsthand. “I’ve seen the worst of cancer.”
The hospital became their second home. Between the constant monitoring of her mom’s health and the seemingly endless stream of concerning medical reports, it would have been easy to lose hope. Valentine recalls one particularly difficult moment when she overheard hospital staff discussing death with a casualness that shook her. “These people talk about death like it’s nothing in the hospital,” she says.
But in those darkest moments, Valentine made a conscious choice to choose faith over fear. “The one thing that I never did was to fix my eyes on the doctor’s report,” she says, “and that helped me stand in hope and even believe for my mom when she was at her lowest.”
Her mother’s own unshakable faith became a source of hope for Valentine’s family. Even during grueling treatments and difficult days, Valentine watched in awe as her mother maintained her trust in God’s plan. “This woman trusted God until the last moment,” Valentine remembers with admiration. “She kept saying ‘let God’s will be done.'”
Though incredibly painful, these moments taught Valentine lessons about faith that no sermon could have conveyed. Like the biblical story of Peter walking on water, she learned that focusing on the storm— in this case, cancer— only made things feel more unbearable. The answer was to keep her eyes fixed on something greater than the diagnosis.
When her mother passed away, Valentine’s faith faced its greatest challenge. Her hope had been so strong that she even waited for a resurrection in the days following her mother’s death. The grief led her to question everything she believed in.
“I began to question God,” she admits candidly. “I told God that I have trusted you, and I felt as if God had failed me because I trusted God until the very last, but my mother had not received healing.”
But even in those moments of doubt and incredible pain, God revealed to her that faith isn’t about getting the outcome we want but finding strength to endure whatever we face.
Today, Valentine speaks from what she calls “the other side” of grief. She’s discovered that there’s a special kind of strength that comes only when we realize we have none of our own left.
“Sometimes you think you know God until the tough time comes,” she shares, “and then you’re like, ‘Oh, I didn’t know God that much.’ These things(loss, grief, and pain) come to help us to know God.”
Looking back, Valentine encourages everyone to build spiritual strength before the storms hit. “You should build yourself up when the times are good,” she says. In the ‘good seasons,’ build yourself up because when tough times come—and they will come—you will depend on the strength of the faith you have built over the good times.”
Walking through loss and grief has given Valentine a new understanding of faith in difficult times. “Even if it means crawling, don’t leave Him,” she shares quietly. “I remember getting to a point where I told God, ‘God, I don’t see you in this. Help me. I won’t run, I won’t walk – let me just crawl with you.'”
If you are in a difficult season now, keep your faith, walk with God, and know He is present and bigger than any loss and grief you’re experiencing.
