What to Do When Your Math Is Not Mathing This Christmas

Hey Empowered People,

It’s your village homey Maggie here. How are you—like, really, how are you doing? Let’s have an honest check-in. If you’ve been hanging with me for a minute, you know the drill. Grab your big ol’ cup of tea, settle in, and let’s have a real conversation.

It’s officially 21 days to Christmas, and you know what that means!

If you’re anything like me, Christmas is big. It’s family time! We gather from all corners of the counties and states—cousins, aunts, and some you know, some you don’t (lol). Some you like, and some you can’t stand. That’s family, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Christmas brings a lot of unforgettable moments and memories you carry for life.

Remember that one aunt who always crosses boundaries at the table? Kai! “Jane, I saw you standing next to that fellow; is he your husband?” And there you are, up there in ages with no one even trying! Or the one hoping you finally got a job because you are always borrowing and other family things that I can’t even put in words.

And please, don’t act like my family is the only one with this type of drama.

Christmas, though, is supposed to be a great and happy holiday without provoking one another. Would someone send this memo to them saying, “Please, when you show up, do not ask personal and private questions about life unless someone volunteers to share?” But then again, I can hear my grandmother say, ‘You are ours, and your life and your business are ours.’ (It is a license to ask anything she can think of.) You know what? Just show up and choose to enjoy it.

Anyway, a few days ago, I reflected on my childhood Christmases. Oh, what a vibe it was! In my village, you could feel the magic in the air. From December 1st, we’d start the countdown, so excited for the big day. The smell was out of this world from chapos and mandazis, stews simmering, and, oh, Fanta and Stoney sodas were such a luxury then.

These days, the Christmas craze is still alive and well. Some people are packing for trips to the village, and others are jetting off to faraway destinations. It’s beautiful, but can I say this? The meaning of Christmas has shifted a bit.

Hear me out before you judge me.

Christmas used to be about spending time with people we love, not about spending our hard-earned coins to pile gifts under the tree. We ate what was on the table, and no one felt bad about it. Afterall there were no internet to post pictures of how the gathering was.

It feels to me like without gifts, it’s no longer Christmas, and everyone feels entitled to them. And God forbid you skip gifting. Suddenly, people catch an attitude, and their Christmas is “ruined.”

What happened to the simple, heartfelt gatherings when ‘just being together’ was enough? Why are we going into borrowing to keep up appearances?

I hate to be a Debbie Downer, but let me say this loud and clear: this Christmas, do your math. If your math is not mathing and isn’t adding up, by all means, feel free to subtract.

You don’t have to drain your wallet to impress people who won’t even remember the effort by January. Avoid doing things you cannot afford now. Even if you can, consider making meaningful connections rather than expensive gifts. Let’s be honest—your kids don’t need Instagram and Facebook-worthy pictures if it means no school fees come January or you can’t pay your bills.

You don’t have to buy everything because there is a sale. Write a list of what you need, set aside money for it, and stick to it. Let your numbers do the talking.

This Christmas, choose simplicity.

Just because you can afford something doesn’t mean you have to buy it. Be bold enough to tell your friends and relatives without shame. There’s no weakness in owning your truth.

I tell you what—come January, some folks will be making desperate calls for help, and none of the people they tried to please will pick up.

Ask any old-timer about their Christmas stories, and I bet you they’ll remember the joy, not the price tags or gifts.

This year, get good at your numbers game.

I am telling you something I had to do myself. I am not advocating for being stingy, but we have to get good with what is coming in versus what is going out. If what you have set aside to spend will affect paying your December bills, you have no business throwing parties or checking out sales.

This Christmas’s purpose not to inflate your spending. Choose to be happy with the little that you can afford with a grateful heart.

Until next time,

Maggie