Feeling like life’s events have you in a chokehold? Take a deep breath because I’m about to share some helpful tips on developing your own resilience that I recently learned from a trusted expert.
These tips will help you find balance if you feel like you’re living in crisis mode, allowing you to regain hope and stability.
A few weeks ago, I attended a women’s cultivating conference where the speaker, Dr. Sam Bore—who received the Texas High School Counselor of the Year award in 2008—delivered powerful insights on resilience. His message resonated deeply with me, and I believe it will resonate with you too.
Dr. Bore began with a heartfelt homage to the influential women in his life, particularly his mother and the women in his village. He shared vivid memories of their resilience: waking up early, working late, cooking with wet firewood, and maintaining honor and respect even in difficult circumstances.
Drawing inspiration from Maya Angelou’s words, “I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it,” Dr. Bore emphasized the importance of developing your own resilience. He recounted the story of Thomas Edison, who rebuilt his factory after a devastating fire in 1914. Edison’s story exemplifies how resilience can lead to triumph, even when faced with seemingly insurmountable challenges.
Dr Bore’s Six Tools for Developing Your Own Resilience
My friend, these tools sound easy, but I will tell you what: if you take the time and read to understand and apply the knowledge, things will change for you.
- Embrace Vulnerability: It’s okay to be vulnerable. Find a safe space to express your emotions without judgment and set clear boundaries to protect yourself.
- Enhance Emotional Intelligence: Understand and interpret your emotions accurately. Know your emotional triggers to better prepare for and manage your reactions. Recognizing your strengths and areas for growth is crucial for empathy and personal development.
- Build Social Support: Flourishing requires the support of others. Nurture relationships, meet new people, and network. Genuine, supportive friends are more valuable than social media connections.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Invest in your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being. Rest, recharge, and sometimes say no. This allows you to be the best version of yourself for your family, friends, and community.
- Commit to Personal Growth: Pursue your passions and work hard to improve yourself. Be thankful and humble in success, remaining a great friend and respectful partner. Success should enhance your life, not ruin other aspects of it. Remember your humble beginnings and keep your achievements in perspective.
- Embrace Failure: Don’t fear failure. See it as a stepping stone and a natural part of the journey. Focus on effort and the journey rather than the outcome. Dr. Bore likened resilience to a palm tree that bends in the wind but stands tall after the storm passes. Learn to bend without breaking. Learn to adapt to the never-ending twists and turns like the palm tree until the storm passes.
Dr. Sam Bore’s speech at the FDK Cultivating Resilience Gala speech was inspiring and thought-provoking. The insights fostered a need for us to be better in terms of managing our lives and stressors.
There was a shift in the room and a deep moment of self reflection, especially when he said that embracing our vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength and that finding real friends is more meaningful that having social media connections.
Personally, I left reflecting on what I needed to let go of in my life and focusing on things that truly matter.
What one tip for developing your own resilience is your secret weapon? Comment below!
About Dr. Sam Bore
Dr. Sam Bore is a licensed professional counselor in Texas, specializing in school counseling, group work, children and adolescents, and marriage and family therapy.
